The Feeling of Overly Under Performing..

Ironic I know. I’m full of contradictions. But that is genuinely the best way to describe how I am feeling. The anxiety in me says “GO GO GO”! The depression says “it’s not enough, you’re not enough, just quit..”.

It’s a roller coaster ride that I wish would just end already.

I know many of you can relate, maybe not to such an extreme.

The thing is I can acknowledge the progress that I have made. However, when looking around.. there is so much more to-do!

I keep telling myself to relax and take it easy, Rome wasn’t built in a day…

I refer to the book ‘Just Be’ by Heidi M. Weiker & Tanya L. Weiker quite often. The book helps me to relax, re-center, and get grounded again. I like to describe this book as ‘meditation on paper’. If you haven’t heard of it I highly recommend checking it out. It is such an easy read.

At times that just doesn’t seem to be enough. My counselor said it best, my mind is on a hamster wheel… for ever running… going no where. She says that over time I’ll learn to get off with her help and the help of medication. But what about until then..? Do I constantly have to battle feeling super accomplished and on top of the world with the sudden crash of not feeling worthy?

I don’t like it. But I am learning to live with it. Grounding techniques and writing really help manage the emotions.

Some grounding techniques that I do:

Deep breathing exercises. Breathe in for 5, out for 4. Repeat for at least 1 minuet. Breathe in and hold your breath for 20 seconds, let it out, slowly.

Identify your surroundings using the 5-4-3-2-1 method. It can be 5 things of the same type, 4 of the same color, 3 of the same touch, 2 of the same smell, and 1 that you taste.

I notice that the period of time that I spend feeling unworthy and underachieved are shorter, as well as the constant feeling to ‘do’. I’m still working hard. I’m still going for the gold. But now I don’t feel the need to work myself into an early grave in the process.

I can breathe a little easier. I talk to myself much nicer. I’m setting and reaching more goals this way. Many will say that you need to be so hard and brutal on yourself to become successful… I say, what a sad way to live.

You see life is in the present. Life is always in the present. You can’t live tomorrow until today.. So why spend today.. and every other today working yourself ragged?

Take care of yourself. The mind, body, and spirit. It is the true key to living an abundant life; a successful life.

Pursue your desires and dreams with passion and drive. Hold yourself accountable. Remember that you’re human. Don’t sacrifice self love and self care in the process of attainment. Pray and be still. Ask the powers that be for guidance.

Sit down and get methodical. Outline your goals. Detail each one as to how you will achieve them. It takes time, but it is worth it.

Yes, I still struggle, but I have also come a long way. By implementing these few things into my life I have accomplished more.

Remember, life is right now. There is no ‘pause’ button. Just start and finish. How will this chapter look for you?

Peace & Positive Vibes

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